MY SUICIDE STORY- final episode
After the exams, I struggled to go back home. And that was all for me that particular term. I didn’t get to write the rest of the exams for that term. Each day that followed came with its own pains. I had an excruciating headache and I was dying in pains. Nobody understood why I’d cry like a baby. The pains were just too much for me to bear. At night when everyone was sleeping, I’ll be alone in my room crying my eyes out. Sometimes, I’d stand in the house, in the middle of the night, and be asking God questions, why He watches on as I go through so much pains. With all these, I was not offered any care, support or whatsoever. My aunt will leave and only come back later in the day to ask how I was faring. Well, I couldn’t complain or blame her because in her prophetic life, she had seen worse things than what I was going through, I thought. Even herself, when she was sick, she still moves out to work. That’s been life, I leave that to her. But with all these, I was dying and I needed love, care and support from people, none came. My parents didn’t also know what was going on with me. The reason? They had no phones. Throughout my stays, it’s either my mum visited my aunt to check on me or I visited home. To come to Accra in such ailing moments too was the least I’d do. The only things you’d see me doing were lying on my bed and wailing. I’ll later find out that I had been attacked with a disease called “nnantwie p)mp). It is a boil in the head and it is very deadly. Medically, there used to be no cure. And if by ignorance, you take it to the hospital and you’re injected, death is your sure warrant. But thank God, there’s a cure now in the hospitals.
So one midnight, the sickness worsened. That day brought with it the worse pains in my life. And that was the same time, the idea of suicide occurred to me. I decided to end it all by taking my own life. With that, I felt I’ll be free and wouldn’t have to go through such pains anymore. I crawled slowly to the kitchen for a knife, stood behind my door to end it all. Amidst crying I asked God my last questions, why He can’t just take all those pains away from me. But before I could struck myself with the knife I heard footsteps from the compound. I decided to sneak out to check who it was. Lo and behold, it was another sick man, who has been brought to my aunt to be cured. For the past few days he has been drinking himself to stupor. And for fear of chastisement he has also been sneaking out of the house to drink at night. “Nii, why are you not asleep?” He asked in Fante when he saw me. He didn’t end there, he walked straight to me and struck a long convo with me. You know how people who are drank can talk. Even today, I still can’t come to terms with what happened. This man engaged me as if he knew what I wanted to do to myself, and he wouldn’t also allow me to leave, as he was very much aware I was so much in pains, and all that he said was not going through my ears. But that’s how God decided to save me. It’s miraculous right? Well, God has saved me so many times, even now.
The next morning , as if by a miracle, my aunt took interest in my ailment. She asked me to get dressed so we go see a man who was specialized in such sickness. The journey though very long and painful for me was worth it. Gradually, through two months, I fully recovered. Those who doubt this, ask this gentleman Frederick Afful, my closest pal in SHS. He knows of this story but didn’t know I wanted to take my own life than today.
What’s your suicide story too? Why don’t you wanna share? For all you know somebody out there might take a clue from it and find a reason not to take his/her own life.
But to you also going through so much troubles and wanna end your life. Let these words from Dr. Gabriel Eshun encourage you- “Contemplating suicide is the medicine the devil gives to those individuals he feels he has to finish them quick before they realise their truest potentials.” Don’t take your own life no matter what. Be encouraged.